inner vow - a personal determination made as a reaction to an event; something happens & you make a vow about it to try to protect yourself from future hurt; a vow spoken out loud or internally
Sometimes you have been through deliverance, counseling, and all of the forgiveness.....and yet you still feel trapped in a cycle, or there's a trigger and you're right back to the beginning. You get upset and feel all the feelings again and wonder why on earth you're back around this same old mountain again....you thought you were healed!
Have you considered inner vows? The enemy uses this technique to knock out Christians. It goes something like this:
Someone hurts or offends you. It could be real hurt or perceived hurt. (We are often taught in churches to be the peacemakers, so confronting issues doesn't happen - we just ignore/squash it. Or we may have fear/rejection, inability to confront, or just don't want to look weak - which the root of that is pride.)
The offense causes a wound. (This needs to be dealt with immediately.)
We make promises/inner vows to protect ourselves from further hurt. This is a coping mechanism that's NOT from the Lord - we take it upon ourselves to protect ourselves. These inner vows actually trap us, cause us to struggle with connecting to others, hard to make friends, causes disunity.
Inner vows aren't always spoken out loud - they could just be said in your heart, and they lock you in a prison. They are activated by our personal spirit (will), but the Spirit of God wants to lead us through healing and connect us to people. The inner vow says NO. Examples of this are "I will never trust again", "I will never cry again", "I will never forgive my spouse". What if God is leading you to reconciliation with that person?! There is POWER of life/death in your tongue. Be careful! Don't let foolish words come out of your mouth, be slow to speak. The inner vow overrides our ability to allow Jesus to direct our mind, our will, and our emotions.
INNER VOWS HARDEN OUR HEARTS.
According to Ezekiel 36:26, God wants to give us a heart of flesh, not stone. Inner vows are in direct opposition to what God wants to accomplish in us. When our hearts are hardened, we cannot love the Lord with ALL of our heart! Or our neighbor. And that's a problem, don't you think? A heart of stone is a defense mechanism, a hiding place, a man made place of refuge - instead of running to the Lord. HE is our refuge!
Usually inner vows are formed during childhood, then we don't remember them later in life because we were so young when we made them, or trauma blanked them out of our memory. But they are still very active in our lives. Other vows are made in relationships, marriages, church hurt, etc. What we're experiencing is NOT a "bad day" or our hormones, but inner vows.
A heart of stone functions automatically - it's preprogrammed to react to people or circumstances and gets triggered quickly, reacts in anger/frustration/criticism/judgment/dissatisfaction. Like an autopilot response.
Inner vows have the power to obstruct our emotional, social, and Christian development. They make it hard to mature and grow. A stony heart cannot grow. Even after forgiveness has happened, it still produces negative fruit. Makes us want to run from situations or have automatic anger or push people away.
Symptoms of inner vows:
The destruction caused by inner vows breaks up families, churches, marriages, destroys businesses, builds up stress, breaks down the immune system, causes illness, loneliness, gaping holes in your spiritual armor, cannot heed warnings from the Lord, subject to temptation, subject to delusions, and it's always "everyone else's" fault.
For marriages: when you get married, you become one flesh. So when an arrow goes into your spouse by your words, you not only hurt them, but you hurt yourself. Example: A husband allows his own emotional pain from his past to lock out his wife emotionally. She asks him what's wrong/going on and immediately his wall goes up and he doesn't talk/cry/show emotion and says "I'm fine". Then she feels like she's going crazy in her own mind. The wife is getting harmed unintentionally by him, plus he's hurting himself by doing this. He's carrying the emotional baggage by himself and yet the Lord brought him a helpmate to help him, but he won't allow it.
JESUS IS YOUR PROTECTOR. Not the inner vows.
JESUS IS YOUR RESTORER. Not the inner vows.
Here are some common inner vows:
I will never trust ____.
I will never be safe financially.
I will never let myself love again.
I will never let ____ see my emotions.
I will never forgive ____.
I will never sing/speak/dance in public again.
I will prove that they’re wrong about me. (Root is pride.)
I will never ask anyone for help again. (Root is pride.)
I will never allow myself to feel hurt/pain/sorrow again.
I will never be good enough/always be too much.
I will never own ____.
I will always be poor.
I will never get pregnant.
I will never get married/find a spouse.
I will never try again.
I will always be a loser.
I will always have money problems.
I will always be a poor speaker/reader.
I will always be dumb/clumsy/scatterbrained/ugly.
I will always be overweight/underweight.
I will always have more problems that other people.
I will make ____ proud of me. (Then you become performance driven to fulfill this, feel like a failure all the time, it’s a trap. Ephesians 1 - God is already proud of us!)
I will always be in charge.
I will always protect my heart from pain. (No, my responsibility is to cast my cares on God. Don’t have an orphan mentality! We are not orphans, we are sons & daughters. John 14:18 & Romans 8:14-16. We don’t have to fend for ourselves. Psalm 23:5-6)
Father, thank you for teaching us and showing us tactics that the enemy uses to try to keep us trapped. We know that you are El Roi, the God who sees us. You love us and want us free! Holy Spirit, please come meet every single person that's reading this right now and reveal your love to them, that they are safe in Your presence. Show them the inner vows that they have made in their lives, knowingly and unknowingly, out loud and in their minds. As they come up, help them to release them to you - to repent for agreeing to/saying them, to renounce/cut all ties to them. Jesus, wash them clean with Your blood! Allow them to be still and rest while you do the healing in them. Replace those inner vows with Your truth! You are their Restorer, Protector, Defender, Provider. You have their back, they can rest and trust in You. Give them extra discernment from now on, to watch what they say/agree with. I plead the blood of Jesus Christ over each one of you and declare FREEDOM and HEALING in the name of Jesus over your mind, emotions, and bodies! We praise You, Jesus! Amen.
